The Dilemma of Indian English - Part I

बारिश आ रही है ("Baarish aa rahi hai") in Hindi translates to "The rain is coming".

A modern plain English user would rather say "It's raining".

हम प्रार्थना कर रहे हैं ("Hum prarthna kar rahe hain") translates to "We are doing prayers" rather than "We're praying".

The Dilemma of Indian English - Part 1

In an incident of the pre-independence British Raj days, a British officer carrying his drunk boss spoke to a carriage driver wanting to translate his words into Hindi–

"Now look 'ere ye bloke, av he bolos anything, jest ye choop an chel. And the chooper ye choops, and the jilder ye chels, the more kooshy will the sahib be. And 'ere's a rupee fer ye"

It roughly modifies in Hindi–

अब इध‍र देखो आद‍मि, कुच भी म‍त बोल‍ना, चुप रेह‍ना और गाड़ी चलाते रेह‍ना. जितने चुप तुम र‍होगे और जितना ज‍ल्दि घ‍र पहुँचाओगे, साहब उतना खूश होन्गे. ऐसा करने के लिये ये लो एक रुपैये 
( "Ab idhar dekho aadmi, kuch bhi mat bolna, choop rehna aur gadi chalate rehna. Jitna choop tum rahoge and jitna jaldi ghar pahuchaoge, Saheb utna khoosh honge. Aisa karne ke liye ye lo ek Rupee.")

Notice the difference in cross-translation.

Indians translate Hindi into English by adding 'doing', 'being', and other action verbs (रेह‍ना / rehna, पहुँचाओगे / pahuchaoge, होन्गे / honge, करने / karne) before the verbs that are used as nouns.

The British officer, on the other hand, translated English into Hindi by ignoring these action verbs, and using verbs in their crude form.

This contrasts how the nouns dominate regional Indian languages, while the verbs dominate modern English.

Ever since the East India Company days, our great-grandfathers, who worked as clerks and officials under the British, developed a Victorian style of English writing and vocabulary.

Victorian English differs from modern English in many ways,
 
1) Excessive use of passive voice over active - 
e.g. 
The laws to implement traffic rules have been passed by the District Council.
- rather than- 
The District Council passed laws to implement traffic rules.

2) Using prepositions where meaning is clear without them - 
e.g. 
Where did you get this at?
- rather than - 
Where did you get this?

3) Using prepositions before a verb - 
e.g. 
You look like your mother does. 
- rather than - 
You look like your mother.

4) Weakened sentences with adverbs - 
e.g. 
This document is extremely important.
- rather than - 
This document is important.

5) Using verbs as nouns by including 'be' or 'doing' - 
e.g. 
He is doing meditation. 
- rather than - 
He is meditating.

6) Using pompous words rather than simple ones - 
e.g.
He is exuberant. 
- rather than - 
He is excited.

7) Elaborating sentences having the same meaning as simple ones - 
e.g. 
His brain is the size of a pea. 
- rather than - 
He is dumb.

Note: In further text, sentences highlighted in red will indicate the Victorian English style used, while those in green will show modern English approach.

George Orwell, the author of 1984, one of the top recommended books over the web (see this) , set down six simple rules of plain English for all writers:

1) Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech that you are used to seeing in print.
2) Never use a long word where a short one will do.
3) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
4) Never use the passive voice where you can use the active.
5) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word, if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6) Break any of these rules sooner that say anything outright barbarous.

We, the natives of Indian subcontinent, subconsciously break many rules of modern English by translating what we think in our native languages into English. This, plus the submissive writing style followed since the Company days, has affected our style of communicating textually and verbally.

Today is 2020, and we independent Indians need not continue that legacy.

Instead, it is in our interest to break the old rules and redefine Indian English as another form of modern English; the English we know as contemporary and adore as crisp, fluent, and high in quality and tone. Modern plain English follows most or all of Orwell's six rules. It improves readability and understanding.

As a reader, I want any form of text (email, letter, notices, circulars, brochures, and even cellular messages) to be clear, direct and vivid. I want to engage quickly with it and get the gist of the story. Ultimately, I want to feel interested. And I want to feel interested with fewer words - an extra requirement in today's fast-paced world!

Even though I discuss Indian English, the Western English too has its own issues with jargon and poor grammar. But 'Plain English' approach, as my Western friends would agree, is a virtue when it comes to professional communication.

So what do we do to make our style of English cocky and gibberish?

I read Jyoti Sanyal's 'Indlish - The Book for Every English-Speaking Indian' and recommend it to anyone who wants to catch up with the modern style of spoken and written English. Mr. Sanyal has been the editor for The Statesman for over 30 years.

In his book, he criticizes jargon vocabulary that exists in Indian offices, law firms, news agencies and government institutions. He explains how the Raj-day clerks passed their legacy to their children, and condemns our way of exactly translating sentences from our native languages to English. He highlights the differences in grammar and style between Indic languages and English, and lists the dos and don'ts of each. In addition, he provides unique suggestions to get the reader's interest.

Let's dig deeper.

The glossary of the Law, or the so-called legalese, is frowned everywhere irrespective of geography. Hereinbefore, herinafter, notwithstanding, condition precedent - such words prompt us to open dictionaries. A layman like me would rather not see it again, far from writing it. Do you agree?

The textual directory of businesses is full of commercialese, a necessary evil that appears to impede progress. If an employee can understand a task or information easily, wouldn't it pay to write in plain, simpler words? Food for thought.

The language of bureaucracy, or the so-called officialese, is the biggest culprit. Since most of these statements are provided through authoritative sources like national gazette, they need to be 'respected' for their format.

The only group that can quickly avail concepts of modern English and spread it among the readers is journalese, or the language of journalists, reporters, writers and editors. Thank God for the nation's freedom of the Press.

Although all forms of -ese are deep-rooted, it is high time we think of a 'Plain English Movement' in India to get rid of the literary slavery.

Let's examine what we write and consider to be correct, but in a way, can be bettered by a few simple rules.

Indlish Example 1: A letter-cum-official-memo (officialese)
Sir,

Sub : Cancellation of admission to I year MA Sociology in respect of Sri KCM ... regarding ....

With reference to the above, I am directed to inform you that the admission of Mr. KCM ..., student of I year MA Sociology, be cancelled forthwith under intimation to this office, as it is found that he is not eligible to seek admission to I MA Sociology as per the records available from the examination branch. The matter may kindly be treated as most urgent.
Yours faithfully
REGISTRAR

Introspection
1. 'in respect of' - wherever you see this, try to replace it with 'of' / 'regarding' and 
 the meaning won't change.
2. 'with reference to the above / with reference to the same' - redundant to say this; just wipe it out.
3. 'been directed to' before an action - remove if you are authorized to direct someone.
4. 'inform you / directed to you...to be 'doing' something' - can be rephrased with - 'please 'do' something'.
5. 'under/over/atop/alongside the directive / intimation' - can be rephrased with - 'directed to / intimated'.
6. 'it is found / it has been found' - who has found what? do not send the reader into oblivion. If unclear, delete it.
7. 'eligible for' and 'eligible to seek for' are two different things.
8. 'Kindly treat the matter as urgent' - redundant, if the statement is a directive under authority. 

Modern English:
Mr...
Please cancel the inadvertent admission of Mr KCM... to MA Sociology. Records with the Controller of Examinations show that this student is not eligible because he does not fulfill x of the y criteria for eligibility.
Regards
REGISTRAR

"It has been like that for decades. Why would we change it anyways?" is the most likely excuse that someone might tell you if you try to correct them. The mindset is to be stuck to the form/convention/ritual of some sort.

There has been a lot of beggary and patronizing statements like "I beg to state...", "Your esteemed favor...", "Your good self..." and many more that have percolated in our writing since Raj days. Globally, such sentences do not exist.

Indlish Example 2: letter for acknowledgement of receipt (commercialese)
Dear Sir,

We beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter of the 16th instant regarding the price charged for the lubricating oil which we supplied to you sometime back.

Introspection
1. The letter restates what the receiver already knows. Not required.
2. Function of reply is to provide information its receiver seeks.
3. Why must we beg to state anything? (Raj-day commercialese) 

Yesterday, time was money. Today, extra words mean extra efforts and cost. So, each word that we write should count. Crores of rupees are spent in documenting and filing. This money can be saved if each employee easily understands his tasks and can make someone easily understand their tasks. Today, text is money too.

Indlish Example 3: words used in official letters
Regarding the same         - change to -     Regarding it/him/them/her
Per day                    - change to -     a day                              
Per passenger train        - change to -     by passenger train
As per the letter          - change to -     as said in the letter
Income tax per annum       - change to -     income tax a year
In an inebriated condition - change to -     drunk
Per se                     - remove it

We need to follow 'inverted-pyramid' approach while writing.

Start with the main item of information and extend it later into details. The order of importance should be from the most relevant to the can-be-dealt-with-later form of information.

Indlish Example 4: a letter from a government department to the heads of schools and colleges (officialese)
Dear Sir,

Sub: Publication of 'Pioneering Educational and Research Institutions of Karnataka

The Department of Information and Publicity desires to bring out a Publication, which intends to introduce the premier educational institutions in Karnataka to the public at large. The proposed publication aims to explain the educational opportunities and avenues available in Karnataka. The publication is designed to incorporate all the relevant information on each of the premier institutions for the benefit of the students in particular. Therefore, I request you to provide all the information available about your institution right from its inception, courses offered, facilities available and the present
status of the institutions. As the publication has to be brought out very early, your cooperation is highly solicitated.

Thanking you,
Yours sincerely,
Senior Assistant Director (Publication's)

Introspection
1. Letter talks about a proposed publication that does not interest the reader. Call to action is mentioned in the end.
2. Need to use inverse-pyramid approach. Call to action at the start.
3. Head of an institute need not be told what relevant information they must provide for the directory.
4. Spelling mistakes (solicitated) and unnecessary use of apostrophe (Publication's) lowers the quality of text.

Modern English:
Dear Sir,

Would you send me as soon as possible such details about your institute as potential students need to know.

We wish to include this in a directory our department will soon publish of Karnataka's premier educational institutes. Readers should find all relevant information below each entry.

Yours faithfully
Senior Assistant Director (Publications)

Indlish Example 5: a letter from Chamber of Commerce to businesses (commercialese)
Subject : Provide E-Mail address for Priority and Quick Mailing

Dear Sir

You will most certainly agree that, in this age what matters most is the E-Factor- Efficiency - Economy and - Email!

Needless to say, the onslaught of Internet has made communication globally much easier, faster and on the whole more efficient
and definitely economical. Postal Services no matter how efficient, do certainly take time to deliver. One cannot overlook delays
due to strikes, at times indefinite, climatic conditions and delay due to postal overload during peak seasons etc.

Nevertheless, there is respite from these and the good news is that logging on to the Internet does provide an excellent solution.

Therefore, you are requested to kindly fill up the following form, clearly indicating your e-mail address along with your telephone
numbers and the postal address so that we can include the name and the details of your company on our priority mailing list.

Please send this reply form back to us either per fax [number cited] or post at the above address. You may also send the same information
via E-Mail [address cited] at the very earliest.

Thanking you,
Yours truly,

Introspection
1. Before "...you are requested...", everything is rubbish, factual jargon that had nothing to do with the message.
2. First 3 paragraphs contain 'model letters' and unwanted capital words that were used to teach Raj day typists and clerks.
3. Fourth paragraph is written in impersonal passive voice and fifth paragraph has 'per' commercialese.

Modern English:
Dear Sir,

We wish to place your company on our priority mailing list, and would be happy if you could fill in the form below and post it to us, or send the information sought by e-mail or fax.

Yours faithfully,

Bottom-line in the above example –

Write only in the letter/email that is relevant to the reader.

As Jyoti Sanyal has said, it is like the breech delivery (baby's bottom-first in the womb) that poses problems to the midwife. Salutation and elaborate acknowledgement are the gifts of Raj days clerks to the Indian English.

In order to dig deeper, let us focus on certain words that are used incorrectly while forming statements.

Indlish Example 6: misused words (journalese)

Focus Word(s) : relieved of

A three-member gang waylaid two persons travelling on a scooter... and relieved them of their wrist watches and cash together worth Rs 5,500.
A 50-year-old woman was relieved of her gold chain worth over Rs...in....on....

An elderly lady was relieved of her gold chain while she was walking...

Introspection
Women were 'relieved of' the burden of gold chains rather than being robbed or snatched. 🙂

Focus Word(s) : decamped

A four-member dacoit gang struck again at... and decamped with seven tolas of gold items.

Introspection
Raj days surveyors used to 'decamp' after pitching camp- dacoits don't camp and decamp. 🙂

Focus Word(s) : in the wee hours

The dacoits attacked the inmates of the house in the wee hours of the morning before they escaped into the darkness with the loot.

Introspection
1. 'In the wee hours' exists in children's books as Middle English archaism. 🙂
2. Replace with later in the day.

Focus Word(s) : the same

The police have booked several motorists for drunken driving and added that stern measures have been initiated to check the same.

Introspection
1. 'The same' was abundant in Bible, but is now only a Victorian archaism, legalese and commercialese. 🙂
2. Replace with it/his/her/them/that.

Focus Word(s) : he said, she said, he noted, he pointed out, he spoke

Minister of Kannada and Culture Rani Satish, who spoke, called on the pourakarmikas to take a pledge against alcohol consumption. She pointed out...BMP Commisioner...also spoke.

Introspection
1. Focus upon the person in active voice, the addendum (Minister of....) later.
2. Take a pledge makes pledge a noun, replace with pledge to make it a verb.
3. Get rid of 'she pointed out', 'he spoke'.

Modern English:
Rani Satish, Minister of Kannada and Culture, asked pourakarmikas to pledge against alcohol consumption.

Focus Word(s) : he said and added, he further said, he further noted

Mr Gowda said the Congress had attempted to review the Constitution during Indira Gandhi's regime and the BJP had strongly opposed it. Now, the roles have reversed, he said and added that both parties did not have a moral right to raise the issue. 

Mr Gowda further said the Janata Dal (Secular) was the only party...

Introspection
1. Wrong use of both - can be replaced by - [either + not have/ neither + have]. Both means that the parties together did not have the right to raise the issue, but they may do so individually.
2. Said and added does not separate the sentences. Usually added is an afterthought.
3. Indian journalists fear to change the exact words spoken by the subject, which becomes a compromise to clarity and addition of 'he said' or 'he pointed out'.

Modern English:
Mr Gowda said that when Congress tried to review the Constitution during Indira Gandhi's regime the BJP opposed the move tooth and nail. They had now reversed roles.

A peculiar issue highlighted from the misused words is the tendency to write statements from politicians or interviewees exactly, followed by the 'he said / she said' banality, that brings a monotonous tone in writing. Modern English has many elements that can bring flavor to a boring report.

This article will be continued in 3 more parts.

Stay tuned for the rest...